*Written December 18th
Today as I drove around town my heart felt so heavy. I thought about sweet babies and tragic endings. I thought about my college friend, killed on this day five years ago in a car accident, leaving behind his pregnant wife and so many others that loved him so very much.
My eyes filled with tears but really, I wanted to weep. I wanted to lay my head down and weep until the tears ran out.
This morning I sat at the breakfast table with my sons and I read out loud from Romans 12. I lingered over the second part of Romans 12:15, Weep with those who weep.
Weep with those who weep.
There’s nothing I can say that hasn’t already been said. I only want to share something that the Lord brought to my mind tonight in the midst of my heaviness.
I have this quirk that I have to sleep in complete darkness at night. I can’t have the lights of alarm clocks or cell phones or any other light lurking outside my eyelids.
A couple years ago we were hosting a women’s conference in which I was emceeing and speaking, so my parents had flown up to help take care of Micah for the weekend. We gave them our room since we didn’t have a real guest room.
I had a hard time falling asleep because this room hadn’t been light-proofed. I felt like light was seeping in every crevasse of my eyelids. Finally, sometime in the middle of the night I got up in frustration only to find that the light was coming from outside the room.
I followed the glow to the source and was surprised to find that it was just the tiny microwave light over the stove.
And there in the middle of the night in near-blackness, the Lord spoke so clearly to my heart.
Even a very little light shines very bright in great darkness.
And tonight as I drove home He brought it to mind again as I thought of the great darkness we live in.
Jesus, Emmanuel, God With Us.
*Linked up with Missional Women.