Do you ever have those days where you crawl into bed at the end of it and think, I’ll take A Do-Over for $500, please?
I had one of those today. (And yesterday.)
All the things I did wrong run through my head like one of Micah’s Veggie Tales songs that I can’t get out of my head, for the love of everything good and right in this world.
I spent too much time on the computer.
I didn’t stop what I was doing and look Micah in the eye when he was talking to me.
I sighed loudly and frustratedly when Asher cried for me again.
I said Dang it! when I dropped that thing for the five majillionth time, and Micah heard me and repeated it.
I shoved Cyrus off of me when he was just trying to snuggle.
(That’s our cat, FYI. I’m not a total jerk.)
I got irritated at Matt for no good reason other than I was tired.
I turned the radio up as loud as we could handle it just because I didn’t want to answer the same question one more time. (Mommy, hom? No, baby, we’re going shopping. Mommy – Nana, Papa? No, baby, they’re working. Mommy, hom?)
(Just go ahead and repeat the above conversation 4,792 times and you’re 1/5,000th of the way to reality.)
I was snappy and irritable all day. We were headed to town and as I was driving I was talking to the Lord. I was telling him my frustrations and why I was frustrated. As he so kindly does, he showed me where I needed to ask for forgiveness, and at that moment I needed to start with my son. So I angled the mirror and I said, Hey baby, Mama’s been impatient and rude today and I’m sorry. That’s not right and I’m sorry for being like that. Do you forgive me?
He gave me his big smile and sideways glance and I knew all was forgiven.
He also wasted no time in confirming yet again that we were in fact not going home and yes, Nana and Papa were working, and yes, Daddy was also working, and no we were not going home. Lather, rinse, repeat.
These days happen. They just do. Maybe not for everybody, but they do for me. But I’m believing a lie if I think that’s just the way it is and oh well. I need to make it right where I’ve been wrong. If I’ve been rude to Micah, I need to ask his forgiveness. Naturally I may be impatient and irritable, but God’s Word tells me I’ve been made new. So tomorrow morning, by faith, we do it again. And somehow, little by little, God transforms this sinful but redeemed girl into his likeness, from glory to glory, in his Spirit. Amen.