So. Here I am. Still gestating.
|38 weeks and 3 days.|
I’m not overdue but for some reason I feel like I should have had him by now. I tell people a vague due date because it varies by a few days from the last menstrual period (I just said “menstrual”) and the ultrasound, and we all know it’s just an approximation anyways.
I vacillate between just letting him come when he comes and wanting to intervene. Although I will say this. I’m going to just go ahead and come out with it. Last week when I was unbelievably and deathly sick? It was because I did the whole castor oil route.
My friends. My dear blog-world friends. Don’t. And I mean never. Never do it. Don’t do it. Do NOT do it. Not only was I ill from every direction, I was violently ill. As in I’ve never thrown up with such force in my entire life.
(Ok, now I’ve not only used the word “menstrual” but I’m also describing in detail the depths of my illness. Blame it on the Final Days of Gestating.)
So I’ve pretty much strayed back onto the straight and narrow and am slightly more content to just let him come when he comes. Although tears were shed today that I would really and truly be pregnant for the rest of my life.
It’s not just that, thanks to my sciatica, I’m in constant pain, it’s just as much I want a living, breathing baby in my arms. There is no describing the loss and physical and emotional emptiness of holding your still baby in your arms, knowing your time with her is desperately short and there’s no going back. There are no adequate words to convey that depth of pain. So while yes, I’d like to not be in physical pain any longer, I also just need that warm, living Lovie in my arms.
So I try to tell myself that every day that goes by is one less day I have to wait to meet him and hold him and kiss him and snuggle him.
And for lack of more content, here are some phone pics from the last few weeks.
|Playing with friends and their first time wearing goggles!|
|Look at them blooming behind the play set!|
|His love for sunglasses runs deep.|
|I have a world map to go on that wall. I just need to frame it with some rustic wood and I’d like to incorporate somehow the song, “He’s got the whole world in his hands,” around it.|
|Eating lunch outside.|
|We got that table and bench off of Craigslist and it’s the official steal of the century. I can’t even tell you how much they
|There’s a story behind this but I’m sure he’ll just appreciate me posting the picture.|
|Dentist appointment! They did so awesome.|
|This recliner was Matt’s Mother’s Day gift to me and we’ve forged a deep and lasting bond.|
Happy Friday, my friends. May Labor be with me and a Happy Memorial Day with you.